I’m currently watching “If I Stay” and came across a quite
interesting quote..
“Life is big fat gigantic stinking mess.. That’s the beauty
of it too”
And it got me thinking, life is indeed a big fat gigantic
stinking mess. I mean, life never goes the way you wanted or you imagined it to
be, something will always stray away from your original plan.. the way you deal
with all of it is completely up to you and not everyone is good with dealing
with it, sometimes you also lose yourself while you’re dealing with this one
mess but you know time is not going to stop for anybody and life will always
goes on whether you like it or not, whether you’re ready or not and during that
time you will encounter new obstacle after another even though you’re not even
done with dealing the past obstacle and it goes on and on and on..
Life is indeed a big fat gigantic stinking mess and I’m
drowning in it. I am in the verge of losing myself each time life hits me hard
and I’m completely aware of it, but sometimes I chose not to fight back because
even the battle loses its meaning after having to deal with it again and again
and again… alone.
But the thing is, I was never lonely. How could I ever be
lonely when I have many beautiful souls that I’m proud to call my family and my
friends with me? But then sometimes you just drown in this deep, dark sea by
yourself and you choose to forget that you have friends, you have someone who
actually cares for you and all you need to do is talk to them and they will
listen, they will help you to carry your burden, because that’s what friends
and family are for. Sometimes you forget it all and you feel like you’re all
alone, and no one could help you and nobody gives a fuck about you.. because
you’re such a unloveable person, you’re not pretty enough, you’re not skinny
enough, you’re not popular enough, you are not enough.. that’s why you need to
be alone and deal with life alone until you’re finally “enough”. Skinny enough,
pretty enough, popular enough, smart enough, rich enough.
But hey, newsflash Ruth, you’re never gonna live up to
everyone’s standards.. . So you need to stop trying so hard to get everyone to
like you, because that is just something you’ll never be able to achieve. No
matter how kind you are, or how funny you are, or how considerate you are, how helpful
you are.. you’re not gonna be able to please everyone. Please keep in mind that
you’re not a nutella jar and you can’t please everyone and pretty pretty please
stop trying to, because you can’t you will never be able to and you're going to get your ass into something you can't handle anyway... so why even bother? just be you. You are good enough. You are enough.
And please please bear in mind that you are enough. You are
enough and you need stop trying so hard to achieve all these impossible beauty
standards.. so stop killing yourself over such a silly and dumb standards and
instead explore and start to appreciate the life around you, learn to
appreciate the things that you have and make the most out of it. Let’s focus on
your own happiness instead of trying to please everyone. Because it is okay to be yourself, even though you don't live up to their standards.. And even if you managed to live up to it, you'll soon learn that it doesn't even matter so let's just drop it and please please please focus on your happiness, because you too Ruth, just like everyone else, deserves to be happy.
And I’m pretty sure, Ruth, you too, will see the beauty of
this big gigantic mess.. once you start accepting all of your flaws and in-capabilities, and finally live
life to the fullest and make the most about it.
Love, Ruth.
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