Man, break up really sucks.
It sucked the energy out of me actually, I feel sad and tired almost all the damn time and I've been trying so hard to get away from experiencing this kind of stupid feelings.
I shouldn't have been in a relationship in the first place actually because It always ends horribly at the end, and sometimes man its not even worth my while.
Ive been experiencing a break up recently, the 3 months ive spent with this guy was.. memorable, to say the least. Ive learned a lot about the ugliness of relationship, whether it is the jealousy, the anger, the worry, the insecurities, the sadness..
and I can say that being in relationships are actually a fucking waste of time.
I was doing just fine, just good being with myself for the past 3 years and I let some dude interfere with my life.
I let him in, I let him become my priority, I let myself get invested both emotionally and physically with this guy and what have I gained?
Absolutely.
Nothing.
It's nice to have someone to talk with from time to time
Someone to hang out with on the weekends when you're bored
Someone to play around with to help you cope with the dullness of life
Someone to have skinship with. lol
But all of that comes with a very very big downside, and that is void and worthlessness.
And me being the independent woman that I always am is not very keen of that.
I like to be in control, I don't like to be dependent on others, I don't like having someone dictate me on what to do or what not to do, I don't like to be constantly on my phone worrying where he has been, I don't like being told who should I be friends with.. the restrictions that comes along with it, man it was fucking stressful.
And then you gotta deal with other people's emotions and ego when you can't even handle yours all for the sake of not being lonely during the nights... man, it is not fucking worth it.
Or maybe I just haven't found my "Mr. Right" yet? I don't know.
But then again I don't need a "Mr. Right" to make my life complete, but I'm always down for someone who can help me be a better version of myself.
My past experiences with relationship, I've been in two toxic kind of relationship.
One where I was abused.
One where I was so unappreciated to the point I questioned my own self's worth.
And man, Its been fucking me up so much. I should've known that I am the type who went 100% for someone and i have been catching feelings for the wrong guys.
Well, experiences are the best teacher aren't they? I have learned a thing or two from my experiences.
1. If a guy doesn't respect or appreciate you as their girlfriend, leave.
2. If a guy gets way too overprotective or jealous of you to the point it gets sickening, leave.
3. If a guy gets you questioning about your own damn self, leave.
Because its not worth it you know, investing so much time and emotion to someone who can't even appreciate what you have to offer.
Ugh, relationships messes with my productivity so much i'm regretting so much things.
But yeah, at least I learned a thing or two.
Next time i'm getting to a relationship, I will never ever let him make a fool out of me or let myself get unappreciated. Because I am fucking golden and I will never let ANYONE paint me black.
If you don't see my worth as a person, then its your loss. I don't need to go out of my way to prove my worth to ANYONE, especially to your own BOYFRIEND.
lol
It was bittersweet.
At least you were cute, you asshole.
It sucked the energy out of me actually, I feel sad and tired almost all the damn time and I've been trying so hard to get away from experiencing this kind of stupid feelings.
I shouldn't have been in a relationship in the first place actually because It always ends horribly at the end, and sometimes man its not even worth my while.
Ive been experiencing a break up recently, the 3 months ive spent with this guy was.. memorable, to say the least. Ive learned a lot about the ugliness of relationship, whether it is the jealousy, the anger, the worry, the insecurities, the sadness..
and I can say that being in relationships are actually a fucking waste of time.
I was doing just fine, just good being with myself for the past 3 years and I let some dude interfere with my life.
I let him in, I let him become my priority, I let myself get invested both emotionally and physically with this guy and what have I gained?
Absolutely.
Nothing.
It's nice to have someone to talk with from time to time
Someone to hang out with on the weekends when you're bored
Someone to play around with to help you cope with the dullness of life
Someone to have skinship with. lol
But all of that comes with a very very big downside, and that is void and worthlessness.
And me being the independent woman that I always am is not very keen of that.
I like to be in control, I don't like to be dependent on others, I don't like having someone dictate me on what to do or what not to do, I don't like to be constantly on my phone worrying where he has been, I don't like being told who should I be friends with.. the restrictions that comes along with it, man it was fucking stressful.
And then you gotta deal with other people's emotions and ego when you can't even handle yours all for the sake of not being lonely during the nights... man, it is not fucking worth it.
Or maybe I just haven't found my "Mr. Right" yet? I don't know.
But then again I don't need a "Mr. Right" to make my life complete, but I'm always down for someone who can help me be a better version of myself.
My past experiences with relationship, I've been in two toxic kind of relationship.
One where I was abused.
One where I was so unappreciated to the point I questioned my own self's worth.
And man, Its been fucking me up so much. I should've known that I am the type who went 100% for someone and i have been catching feelings for the wrong guys.
Well, experiences are the best teacher aren't they? I have learned a thing or two from my experiences.
1. If a guy doesn't respect or appreciate you as their girlfriend, leave.
2. If a guy gets way too overprotective or jealous of you to the point it gets sickening, leave.
3. If a guy gets you questioning about your own damn self, leave.
Because its not worth it you know, investing so much time and emotion to someone who can't even appreciate what you have to offer.
Ugh, relationships messes with my productivity so much i'm regretting so much things.
But yeah, at least I learned a thing or two.
Next time i'm getting to a relationship, I will never ever let him make a fool out of me or let myself get unappreciated. Because I am fucking golden and I will never let ANYONE paint me black.
If you don't see my worth as a person, then its your loss. I don't need to go out of my way to prove my worth to ANYONE, especially to your own BOYFRIEND.
lol
It was bittersweet.
At least you were cute, you asshole.
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