i thought today would be just another day.
bergelut dengan skripsi, bergelut dengan keinginan untuk berhenti merokok yang terkadang masih tidak linear dengan kenyataan, bergelut dengan kelas-kelas dan rasa nyeri di punggung yang tak kunjung hilang.
tapi mungkin tuhan berkata lain.
today i poured my heart out.
i told someone something i've never told anyone before.
not for the sympathy no, fuck it. i don't need no sympathy, or pity, or anything. the hell with that. All i need is motivation, motivation to be better and stronger.
Life's sorrow.. i've learned to take it all. Pahit-pahitnya hidup, ngapain lah diumbar. What i gotta deal with, for whom am i doing all this, why i hustle so hard, what i'm really really struggling with, gak usah lah orang tahu.
I don't want judgments, i don't want sympathy, i'll deal with my own bullshit.
But tonight is a different story
I managed to tell it all, from A-Z.
And voila, i know people will sympathize. He did too. He feel burdened to make me feel better because of it, and i don't want that tbh.
But the most amazing thing that happened is, i managed to tell everything from A to Z.
I don't know what got into my mind tonight. (Well, a lot actually)
But this changes things.
I've learned and accepted no one would truly accept, or love me for who i am. Maybe i am too complicated to love. Maybe love is just something that i can't afford, it's a luxury someone like me don't deserve.
But after tonight,
Even after all that A-Z,
"I bet you're probably be so disgusted of me right now"
"No, i'm more concerned about you"
I think i am actually learning that love is actually something i am worthy of.
I was just giving it to the wrong person.
bergelut dengan skripsi, bergelut dengan keinginan untuk berhenti merokok yang terkadang masih tidak linear dengan kenyataan, bergelut dengan kelas-kelas dan rasa nyeri di punggung yang tak kunjung hilang.
tapi mungkin tuhan berkata lain.
today i poured my heart out.
i told someone something i've never told anyone before.
not for the sympathy no, fuck it. i don't need no sympathy, or pity, or anything. the hell with that. All i need is motivation, motivation to be better and stronger.
Life's sorrow.. i've learned to take it all. Pahit-pahitnya hidup, ngapain lah diumbar. What i gotta deal with, for whom am i doing all this, why i hustle so hard, what i'm really really struggling with, gak usah lah orang tahu.
I don't want judgments, i don't want sympathy, i'll deal with my own bullshit.
But tonight is a different story
I managed to tell it all, from A-Z.
And voila, i know people will sympathize. He did too. He feel burdened to make me feel better because of it, and i don't want that tbh.
But the most amazing thing that happened is, i managed to tell everything from A to Z.
I don't know what got into my mind tonight. (Well, a lot actually)
But this changes things.
I've learned and accepted no one would truly accept, or love me for who i am. Maybe i am too complicated to love. Maybe love is just something that i can't afford, it's a luxury someone like me don't deserve.
But after tonight,
Even after all that A-Z,
"I bet you're probably be so disgusted of me right now"
"No, i'm more concerned about you"
I think i am actually learning that love is actually something i am worthy of.
I was just giving it to the wrong person.
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