All I Want

It’s 11:09 AM, I’m currently intern-ing.. whatever the hell that means, in Bank of Indonesia.

I’m reading this book called The Curious Incident of The Dog in the Night time, which is a very interesting book about a young boy who basically seeks for logical explanation about everything, which I adore, because he sees the world as it is.
I was reading the book profoundly until I decided to listen to a song, I opened my Spotify app and scrolled through the playlist.

“R”

I played one of the 12 songs there, it’s called “Think of Love – Original Mix” by Risin Black Hole, which apparently is an Indonesian band, what a nice surprise.
I continued reading the e-book, but the lyric of the song kind of distracts me.

Would you marry me?
When I think of love, I just think of you
I said I want you, want you to be my wife

The song got me thinking, what was going on his mind when he put this song on the playlist?
Was he really thinking about all of the stuff the song said? That when he thinks of love, he thinks of me? That he wants to marry me? He wants me to be his wife? Then this train of thoughts got me thinking…

Do I want to?

Marriage. The concept of marriage have always been pretty strange to me. Sometimes I don’t think it’s necessary. I strongly believe in the phrase “Every man for themselves”. You carry your own weight and that’s how it’s supposed to be. You entered the world all by yourself, you’ll leave the world all by yourself, that’s how it’s supposed to be, you’re on your own.

But experiencing love.
Not love within yourself, but love within others.
When self-love have always been something I’ve been struggling to do all my life, loving someone else Is another confusing concept that I couldn’t even grasp my hand on. I don’t know how. I don’t understand.
As I grow older, I believe that love is something that you learn by heart. You may try to use your logic, but trust me, it’ll lose. That’s why I also believe, people tend to be really stupid when they’re in love. Smart people think logically, they put calculations into their actions, everything is well-thought and prepared so that they will not suffer the consequences they’re not ready for. That’s smart, that’s how I try to live my life. Smartly.

But it just doesn’t work with love, does it?

Loving a whole another person other than yourself and your family.. is a suffocating, but thrilling experience that I wouldn’t trade for anything in the world.
When you care about your significant other’s happiness more than your own..
When you’re worrying about your significant other’s well-being more than your own..
Things like..

“has he eaten?”
“is he okay?”
“how’s his family doing?”
“what can I do to ease up his stress”
“this sweater would look very cute on him”
“ah.. he needs to take up his medicine”
“I hope he gets home safely”
“go to sleep, it’s late”

Needless to say, I’ve experienced what love is.
And I understand you need to be in love to be married. Its not necessarily a necessity, everyone have their own indicator and reasons on why they want to get married but I personally want love to be one of the reasons.
I love him, but do I want to be married to him?

Marriage is a scary, scary commitment.
Marriage is a big deep lake, I wouldn’t even dare to dip my legs in it.
A relationship that binds two people and even families together, with all of their differences.
A sacred ritual, that symbolize the celebration of two people committed to spend the rest of their lives together until death do them part.
Do I want that?
I don’t know.
What I do want is to see you on the other side of my bed every morning.
To make you breakfast and a cup of tea every morning before you go to work.
To hold you in my arms when you feel like crying, to sit with you in your darkest night.
To be there with you as you grow older, as your hair turn white.
To remind you to take your medicines and not to forget your meals.
I want to be with you.

I want that.

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