It's been a weird month, March.
People will fight for something they believe in.
Therefore, if your partner has faith in you, if your partner believes in the future where you will be there alongside your partner, your partner will fight to turn that belief into reality. And I am so, so happy that I realized this in my early life. I don't need to be dumped by some wanky dude to realize that, if someone does not love me it does not mean that I am not worthy, it is simply because they don't want to.
They could think of thousands of excuses to justify their reasoning, but the underlying argument behind all that is one simple truth: they don't want to!
Other than that, I learned a thing or two about love. To me, love has the following qualities:
In order for love to work, there has to be Acceptance. Acceptance consists of (i) getting to know your partner; (ii) acknowledging your partner for who they really are; and (iii) deciding you can live with that or not, and then finally, you reached Acceptance.
I am sure we all have our own standards, so the next thing you do is: you will impose your standards to your partner and you will do the three-steps above. If your final answer is "yes I can live with that" then good, first step done. Acceptance. If not, do it all over again with another person.
Faith. This seems very illogical and I understand. Faith requires no evidence, and it is not supposed to be. This is where we get into the "gray area". How do you know if you have faith in your partner? To me, it is a tricky combination of chemistry and compatibility. When you have good chemistry and good compatibility with your partner, that's where Faith partakes. You can not have faith in your partner if you don't have a certain chemistry and compatibility with your partner, hell, even the Faith in a relationship with good chemistry and good compatibility can still shake.
This is where Persistence comes in. You persist that this is the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with. Be consistent. However, Persistence can only be implemented if you got Acceptance and Faith settled down in your relationship in the first place. You know the search for "the one" is never-ending; there will always be other people that are prettier, smarter, better than your partner in certain things, but this is where Persistence came through.
You persist that this is the person that I want to be with. Again, Persistence should only be implemented in the event that you have good chemistry and compatibility with your partner. Take notes that Persistence should not be used as an excuse not to walk away from a toxic person or toxic situations, darling! That's just Stupidity and it's not on the list.
It's like I finally accepted that life goes on. No matter how painful it is; life just won't stop because you are tackled down, because you're there on the ground. No one is going to and will pick yourself back up. You have to do that yourself.
I finally accepted that if anyone wants anything, they will not stop for nothing.
Ever wonder why people are still killing other people? even though it has been taught for centuries that killing is bad. It has been taught through moral education, religions, or even laws. Many negative and often heavy repercussions will also be imposed on you if you kill someone. Yet people still do it anyway! Why? because they have set their mind into it. They desperately want it, and nothing, not even the bad consequences that they know will follow after said conduct is done, will stop them.
The same analogy, I believe, is applicable to love.
If someone really wants you, they will stop at absolutely nothing to be with you.
One day, a woman is falling in love with another woman. She has so much faith in her significant other, she wants her, she has set her mind to be with her. They get married anyway. Thus rises the lesbian community; all in the purpose of being able to love the one you want to love, without regard to what the people or the norms have to say about it. Nothing was stopping her, and now her first mark has become a precedent that would inspire millions of other lesbian couples.
Moral of the story?
Moral of the story?
People will fight for something they believe in.
Therefore, if your partner has faith in you, if your partner believes in the future where you will be there alongside your partner, your partner will fight to turn that belief into reality. And I am so, so happy that I realized this in my early life. I don't need to be dumped by some wanky dude to realize that, if someone does not love me it does not mean that I am not worthy, it is simply because they don't want to.
They could think of thousands of excuses to justify their reasoning, but the underlying argument behind all that is one simple truth: they don't want to!
Other than that, I learned a thing or two about love. To me, love has the following qualities:
1. Acceptance;
2. Faith; and
3. Persistence.
In order for love to work, there has to be Acceptance. Acceptance consists of (i) getting to know your partner; (ii) acknowledging your partner for who they really are; and (iii) deciding you can live with that or not, and then finally, you reached Acceptance.
I am sure we all have our own standards, so the next thing you do is: you will impose your standards to your partner and you will do the three-steps above. If your final answer is "yes I can live with that" then good, first step done. Acceptance. If not, do it all over again with another person.
Faith. This seems very illogical and I understand. Faith requires no evidence, and it is not supposed to be. This is where we get into the "gray area". How do you know if you have faith in your partner? To me, it is a tricky combination of chemistry and compatibility. When you have good chemistry and good compatibility with your partner, that's where Faith partakes. You can not have faith in your partner if you don't have a certain chemistry and compatibility with your partner, hell, even the Faith in a relationship with good chemistry and good compatibility can still shake.
This is where Persistence comes in. You persist that this is the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with. Be consistent. However, Persistence can only be implemented if you got Acceptance and Faith settled down in your relationship in the first place. You know the search for "the one" is never-ending; there will always be other people that are prettier, smarter, better than your partner in certain things, but this is where Persistence came through.
You persist that this is the person that I want to be with. Again, Persistence should only be implemented in the event that you have good chemistry and compatibility with your partner. Take notes that Persistence should not be used as an excuse not to walk away from a toxic person or toxic situations, darling! That's just Stupidity and it's not on the list.
So my advice is, to all of the miserable lonely people that are still hung up over their significant other who apparently, are showing signs of rejections is this:
let it go. you have no control over this. Sometimes things just don't align. Don't dwell, don't overthink. Accept it gracefully, and let it go.
let it go. you have no control over this. Sometimes things just don't align. Don't dwell, don't overthink. Accept it gracefully, and let it go.
And that is, a message I have.. to myself.
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